www.angjokes.info

. My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the individual behind the counter for "minimal lettuce." He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg.

Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(daughter): 183

. Police in Radnor, Pennsylvania, interrogated a suspect by placing a metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine. The message "He's lying" was placed in the copier, and police pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn't telling the truth. Believing the "lie detector" was working, the suspect confessed.

Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(in): 381

. Jim sees his neighbor out back building a bunker, loading in 75 gallons of bottled water, hauling in a gas generator and so on. "So, uh, I guess you believe Y2K is a biggie huh?" "Naw", says the neighbor. "Ah's jes' stockin' the bunker now, 'cuz if I did it any other time, people'd think ah's nuts."

Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(sees): 318

. Swedish business consultant Ulf af Trolle labored 11 years on a book about Swedish economic solutions. He took the 175-page manuscript to be copied, only to have it reduced to 25,000 strips of paper in seconds when a worker confused the copier with the shredder.

Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków( business): 278

. According to the Knight-Ridder News Service, the inscription on the metal bands used by the U.S. Department of the Interior to tag migratory birds has been changed. The bands used to bear the address of the Washington Biological Survey, abbreviated, "Wash. Biol. Surv." until the agency received the following letter from an Arkansas camper: "Dear Sirs: While camping last week I shot one of your birds. I think it was a crow. I followed the cooking instructions on the leg tag and I want to tell you it was horrible."

Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(to): 550

. He is so dumb, he thinks an agent is someone who keeps track of your age!

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. Why did the stupid boy wear a turtle neck sweater? To hide his flea collar.

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. A boy went into the local department store where he saw a sign on the escalator - 'Dogs must be carried on this escalator.' The boy then spent the next tow hours looking for a dog.

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. A silly boy spent the afternoon with some friends, but when the time came for him to leave, a terrific storm started with thunder, lightning and torrential rain. 'You can't go home in this,' said one of his friends, ' you'd better stay the night.' 'That's very kind of you,' said the boy. ' I'll just run home and get my pyjamas.'

Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(silly): 352

. My friend is so silly that he spent two weeks in a revolving door looking for the doorknob!

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. Sister: Why are you putting the saddle on backward ? Brother: How do you know which way I'm going ?

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. A guy walking down a street one afternoon passes an old man sitting on the side of the road with a large sack. The younger guy says to the old man, "Watcha got in the sack?" The old man responds, "I got some monkeys in that there sack." The younger man asks, "If I guess how many monkeys you got in the sack, can I keep one?" The old man replies, "Son, if you guess how many monkeys I got in this sack, I'll give you both of 'em!"

Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(guy): 452

. Why did Silly Sue throw her guitar away ? Because it had a hole in the middle.

Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(did): 83

. Did you hear about the stupid Kamikaze pilot ? He flew 57 missions !

Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(you): 73

. Why did the idiot have his sundial floodlit ? So he could tell the time at night !

Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(did): 85

. How do you keep an imbecile happy all his life ? Tell him a joke when he's a baby !

Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(do): 88

. Why did the Aggie call 911 in the car wash? - He thought he saw the rotating car washer as a tornado

Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(did): 111

. An Illinois man pretending to have a gun kidnapped a motorist and forced him to drive to two different automated teller machines. The kidnapper then proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank accounts.

Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(illinois): 216

. A 9-year-old boy in Manassas, Virginia received a one-day suspension under his elementary school's drug policy last week - for Certs! Joey Hoeffer allegedly told a classmate that the mints would make him "jump higher."

Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(9): 230

. A student in Belle, West Virginia was suspended for three days for giving a classmate a cough drop. School principal Forest Mann reiterated the school's "zero-tolerance" policy...not to be confused with the "zero-intelligence" policy.

Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(student): 246

. Fire investigators on Maui have determined the cause of a blaze that destroyed a $127,000 home last month - a short in the homeowner's newly installed fire prevention alarm system. "This is even worse than last year," said the distraught homeowner, "when someone broke in and stole my new security system..."

Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków( investigators): 328

. After interviewing a particularly short-spoken job candidate, I described the person to my boss as rather monosyllabic. My boss said, "Really? Where is Monosyllabia?". Thinking that he was just kidding, I played along and said that it was just south of Elbonia. He replied, "Oh, you mean over by Croatia?"

Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(interviewing): 323

. Q: Did you hear about the 25 Irish people that drowned? A: They were riverdancing.

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. Q: Have you heard about the Irish abortion clinic? A: There's a 12-month waiting list.

Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(): 92

. Two newfies walked into a pet store. The first says "I want four budgies." Salesman-certainly sir, would you like two male and two female or all male or all female? Newfie-I don't care. I just want 4 budgies! Salesman-certainly sir, what color would you like? We have yellow, blue, gr... Newfie - I don't care what color they are, just put four budgies in a box for me. Is that too hard? Salesman - O.K. O.K. The two newfies pay for the budgies and leave. They drive out to this high cliff in Newfoundland and the first newfie reaches in the box and pulls out two of the birds, grasps them firmly and jumps off the cliff while flapping his arms. Of course he SPLATS at the bottom. The second newfie looks down at his friend's twisted remains and says "What a shame. this budgie jumping isn't all it's cracked up to be!"

Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(newfies): 875

. QUESTION: Why does the town idiot take his bedroom door off the hinges and put it to the sid every night when he goes to sleep? ANSWER: Because he's afraid someone would look through the keyhole.

Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(): 207

. What did the idiot do to the flea in his ear? Shot it!

Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(did): 58

. What do you call a bee who's had a spell put on him ? He's bee-witched !

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. Q: What kind of suit does a bee wear to work? A: A buzzness suit!

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. What has four wheels and flies ? A rubbish bin !

Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(has): 51

. What lives in gum trees ? Stick insects !

Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(lives): 42

. What is the biggest ant in the world ? An elephant !

Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(is): 55

. One idiot said to the other, "You know, there are really only three kinds of people in the world: those who can count, and those who can't.

Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(idiot): 147

. There were two guys working for the city. One would dig a hole -- he would dig, dig, dig. The other would come behind him and fill the hole -- fill, fill, fill. These two men worked furiously; one digging a hole, the other filling it up again. A man was watching from the sidewalk and couldn't believe how hard these men were working, but couldn't understand what they were doing. Finally he had to ask them. He said to the hole digger, "I appreciate how hard you work, but what are you doing? You dig a hole and your partner comes behind you and fills it up again!" The hole digger replied, "Oh yeah, must look funny, but the guy who plants the trees is sick today."

Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(were): 707

. An idiot decided to start a chicken farm, so he bought a hundred chickens to start. A month later, he returned to the dealer for another hundred chickens because all of the first lot had died. A month later he was back at the dealers for another hundred chickens for the second lot had also died. "But I think I know where I'm going wrong," said the idiot. "I think I am planting them too deep."

Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(idiot): 419

. What's a bee-line ? The shortest distance between two buzz-stops !

Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(a): 69

. First Caribou: What do you call a bee that can't make up his mind? Second Caribou: A maybee.

Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(caribou): 97

. Q: What did one flea say to the other flea when they came out of the movies? - A: Should we walk home or take a dog?

Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(): 124

. What happened to the man who turned into an insect ? He just beetled off !

Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(happened): 77

. What do you get when you cross a bell with a bee? A humdinger.

Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(do): 68

. One woodworm met another. "How's life?" she asked. "Oh, same as usual," he replied, "boring."

Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(woodworm): 99

. What is the difference between an elephant and a flea? An elephant can have fleas but a flea can't have elephants !

Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(is): 122

. What did the bee say to the naughty bee ? Bee-hive yourself !

Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków( did): 66

. Who writes books for little bees ? Bee-trix Potter !

Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(writes): 55

. Why did the bee started talking poetry ? He was waxing lyrical !

Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(did): 67

. What's more dangerous than being with a fool ? Fooling with a bee !

Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(more): 70

. What's black, yellow and covered in blackberries ? A bramble bee !

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. How does a queen bee get around her hive ? She's throne !

Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(does): 60

. First Caribou: Which bug does amazing motor cycle stunts? Second Caribou: Evel Boll Weevil.

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. First Caribou: Which bug gobbles up trash? Second Caribou: The litterbug.

Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(caribou): 78